The great bank robbery

I said in a previous blog that I would tell you about the day I was held up in a bank, so here it goes.

It must be ten years ago now when I was working as a not so young mortgage broker at the now defunct Bradford & Bingley bank. I say not so young but I did have more hair covering my birds nest at that time, and before you say it, no it was not a comb over! It was doing the best it could do at the time; poor hairdresser.

I was usually stuck in my office at the back when I was feeling the walls closing in on me so I decided to go into the banking hall. The world decided that it was time that I was robbed at gun point just to remind me that I was working in a bank and not in a shoe shop; to be fair it's normally knives in that part of Hull or baseball bats so it's nice to have a change. I was sat chatting to my friend Ross who at that time was doing his apprenticeship before his real job as a Santander bank manager in later life, when a gun appeared over the counter pointing at Ross. As always he was in full flow telling me about this and that oblivious to his manager prodding his shoulder and my mouth slowing becoming slack while at the same time trying to mouth the word gun!

Very slowly it dawned on him that something was happening in front of him and he looked up to see the muzzle of the gun. This sight made him jerk back in shock and when the holdall came flying over the counter with the usual warning of fill it or I'll kill you all he proceeded to fill it up with everything in the till.

Fair doos to Ross, he may have been in shock and a bit terrified to the point of a bowel movement but he managed to double bag the guy. Now this has nothing to do with melvins or grundy pulls (depends which part of the country you're from or what you call underpants) but the tills were filled with exploding powder bombs cunningly disguised as bags of money. If you put them to your ear you could hear them tick! That's not a joke they actually ticked!

This mad man swung his bag back over the counter and pointed his gun at everyone saying if we followed him he would shoot us all. The branch manager ran as fast as her sensible heels would carry her towards the door with her keys making an odd clip clop as she picked up pace and with one quick twist she locked the door!

Now at this point I really should finish the story, what happened when he left the branch holding the bomb, did he get caught, did he do it again, etc etc. I will complete it but another day as it's very late and I need some kip, so watch the blog and I will tell the end of the tale blood, tears and all in part two of the great bank robbery.